How do you cope with the sudden loss of some one?

I was sitting in a theater watching some beautiful dancers on stage when my phone vibrated.  That vibrated moment changed our lives that very instant.  I read the text message and told the sender I would call them when I got out of the theater.  I had a sinking feeling in my stomach that something wasn't good.  My gut was right.  I called my co-worker, who is also a friend and the next 2 minutes with the news she gave me altered not only our lives but many lives including my daughter who was standing in front of me asking me why I was crying.  The news I got was that my co-worker, friend, childrens teacher and mentor had passed away suddenly.

I had to lie to my daughter who was worried about me as I was trying to compose myself for her sake as well as my own.  I didn't want her to find out like this on her own.  I promised not to tell her as she needed to find out with her peers in the day that follows us getting home.   Trying to keep her occupied with a fellow dancer for the next few hours for me felt like days.  I wanted to cry and process the news I had just received. We walked around the small town.  Stopped at the best bakery we where told about the day before.  I'm so glad we did it was amazing, best doughnuts I have ever had.  We continued strolling around stopping in cute stores and the water front  keeping us all busy till 3:30pm.  That's when my daughter would be going home early with her fellow dance friend and mom.  

Once I got her squared away and she drove off to head home, I just crumbled into the couch in the lobby of the hotel and cried. I didn't care who saw me, I needed to release my feelings of sadness that I had kept to myself for the last 5 hours.  I knew tomorrow would be a huge day of sadness for everyone who this man came into contact with.  I text my husband and told him the news.  We made a plan for our kids for the following evening when they got the news, PJ's, take out and just hanging out and being there for each other with lots of hugs, kisses and wiping tears away be it the kids or my own.

On my way home at 11:30 at night, I drive past the school another wave of sadness comes over me. My eyes swelled with tears knowing he will not be in the halls, his class, cracking jokes, keeping me in the loop of my daughters progress and funny tales of her classmates.  I know when I walk into the school in the morning it is going to be hard.  It was, it was so hard. I barely got through the door with out getting emotional.  I was the last staff member told.  They knew I was a good friend of his and my kids loved him as their teacher as well we where at a dance competition. Oh I cried, we all cried at the staff meeting with the grief councillors.   Not even half hour later, his students where told the news and my daughter, was the 1st one with the councillors.  She would be there for the next 3 hrs dealing with her feeling, her sense of loss and why, why is he gone. Now my job was to go home and tell my son who home sick from school with his past teacher and mento had passed away.  He took the news in stride.  Way better than I would have though. He made me proud with his maturity and out look on death. 

After school, the best medicine was having a group of friends over, talking, playing, walking our dog, eating cookies and drinking hot coco.  They got to be kids for the first time that day. I heard them laugh yet I heard sorrow in their voices too. They talked about their teacher off and on. They asked me questions and I tried to answer them to the best of my ability. After her friends left she asked me why did I lie to her?  I tell my kids it's better to tell the truth always.  I had to explain my choice.  She understood it thankfully.   

Over the week we all had our moments of sadness, tears and need of comfort.  My kids wrote his family beautiful letters to let them know how he impacted their lives and how they would keep his memory alive with in them.   He is what my daughter says, " is traveling the world, playing his guitar to the masses and making others lives better."  We will miss you B.  ❤️️️NYTS 

Family & The Holidays. Traditions, stories and memories we all have them to share.

Family, we all have one.  Be it blood or chosen yet we all have one.  I feel very blessed to have my little family of 3.  My husband, son and daughter fill my heart with so much joy, it bursts.  My parents are still with me as well as my grandmothers.  I know that there are not many families that have 4 generations still living as this is truly a blessing.  The history that is passed down is priceless and can never be replaced.  Family holidays are when we all have that time to be together in one place at the same time. Today's lifestyle has many of us running around that we don't get to see our loved ones as often as we would like to.


We like most of the world celebrated  Easter today.  Family gatherings are wonderful.  You get to see your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews.  The memories we create are priceless and can never be bought. The laughter, smiling faces and stories told by the young and old can never be replaced.  Photographs are taken, the kids say cheese with the funniest faces and those cute smiles, I just can't get enough.  It's like a patch work quilt that tells a story of your history and keeps you warm with the memories you have collected.


Now the food, the food is endless at family gathering.  Dishes that are family recipes that are handed down from generation to generation.  The traditions that are passed on that create a sense of normality and unity.  The Easter Egg hunt  is a wonderful tradition.  The kids young and old have a wonderful time.  Seeing the youngest generation run around looking for those treats and the joy they have while laughing, having fun with their cousins, helping each other out to make sure that even the youngest has a basket full of eggs and treats.  Seeing this makes me so happy and the rest of us adults tell stories about when we where kids doing the same things.


I love how all of us adults, who at one time in life where complete strangers are now intertwined in each others lives.  We made a choice to be apart of this family, this "tribe" and bring their families history, traditions and blend them into our new blended family.  My sister in-laws and I have big shoes to fill with the women on  both sides of my blended family, my mom and my mother in-law.  Traditions and their families mean the world to them and I know we three need to carry on the torch and continue on while creating our own traditions to pass on to our kids.


So my message is to keep up with family history, traditions and pass them on to the younger generations.  It's important to keep the memories alive and keep those who have come before us in our hearts and minds be it with stories, the food we eat or the photos in an album.  We have all come from some one and it's a good thing to know where we came from.

Love,
NYTS. xo