Unintentionally body shaming our own kids... We need to stop the cycle.

A week ago I was watch an old episode of Greys Anatomy from the 1st season on Netflicks.  A part of it was about  a college age teen girl who went to Mexico for a gastric bypass surgery so that she could get the approval from her harsh crizitizing mother who made her feel bad about her weight, the freshman 15 lbs that most college girls gain.  As I sat there I looked at my daughter who is 11 almost 12 years old and I started to think to myself, " God do I put my own  body issue hang ups upon her?"   This episode really hit home for me in so many ways.   Watching the father character look at his wife in horror as she got mad at her daughter for " taking the easy way out so that she doesn't have eat and excersize properly with this surgery," to which by the way in the show was botched up and teen girl will now have a hard time eating and processing foods for the rest of her life.  It was Tragic in my eyes be it made for TV or real life.   I have heard phrases like this one used over the years since my teens towards friends and aquinances up to some youth of today.

I will admit to talking to my daughter about how to take care of her body.  I want for  her to learn from my mistakes.  I want for her to have a healthy body image.  I know how hard it can be for girls being pre teen and teenage years.  I grew up in the 80's and it was nothing compared to what girls and even boys have to deal with in this day and age.  However girls with their bodies changing from things like growing breasts, getting their monthly period, shaving legs, wearing make up, dealing with their romantic  feelings, pier pressure from friends, family and boys if they are at the age of dating its some what the same. It's a whole new territory for familes to go through.  I find I am very thankful for having a son and a daughter as I can't imagine having more than one girl and I commend those who do as its a lot of work and perseverance to deal with.  I joke with my hubby that there are days I can see why some parents may drink after dealing with a hormonal teen aged girl.  I also call my mom and tell her I am sorry for the stress I may have caused her and for never giving up on me during those years.

I think putting our own body shaming trigger on to our girls is horrible.  It breaks them down, puts their own self esteem and self worth in turmoil.  Some times to the point of pushing our girls to eating disorders or self harm.  I know media has a big part to play into this but we can't always blame the media for everything.   We moms need to start loving our own bodies.  We need to stop putting our damaged outlook into our daughters thought process. We need to teach our girls to love their bodies for what they can do, to embrace what they may consider flaws which could be anything from a scar, thick thighs,  not having a perfect smile, a belly of any size,  hates her hair ,doesn't feel they look good in a bathing suit,  I can go on and on with this " list" but I think you all get the picture.  Make the journey of learning to love your own bodies mom a joint journey.  Make the change and help our kids.  Be the one who stops this crazy cycle of body shaming.  Let's be the generation of moms who instills the change of loving our bodies.  The buck stops here and now. I know I am doing this change and I hope you will too.  I know it is hard for some to learn to love their bodies, but I tell you it us so worth it.  My  final parting words to all us moms is this," we can't teach our daughters to love their bodies if we don't love our own."  So start loving your body. ❤️️️️️️NYTS

Funny things that make your day....

I was looking all over for my beloved iPad as I misplaced. This is something I give my kids a lecture on weekly as they misplace their stuff ALL the time.  I found the it this morning after giving up looking for it for over an hour yesterday.   Funny thing is I really didn't miss it that much.  I use it to look at social media, online shopping, reading news articles and recipes.  However when I found it this morning once opening up my email I get this message that I've reach a "milestone".  What milestone have I gotten too? I opened it up to find I've walked up over 4000 flights of stairs.  Oddly this put a huge smile on my face, you know that goofy one we all get after reading about great news.  For me this was huge!  I've been dabbling off and on over the last few years trying to make myself accountable for my fitness and health. I wear a fit bit almost every day for the last year. I try to do my minimum 10,000 steps per day.  Some days are easier than others. However this little email made me proud. It made me laught at myself too later on as I put a value on this.  This put a bounce in my step, made me walk taller and standing up straighter. It's silly I know, but I did and it made my day.

                         

The other thing that kills me is my dog, Stella.  She has this goofy way about her.  She wants us to play fetch with her but has no concept on dropping the item she wants us to throw for her.  Heaven only knows how much we try to teach her this skill.  When we get the item from her to toss it, she has the bunny like hop when she goes to retrieve her ball or stuff toy. It cracks us all up. She makes us laugh so hard some days.  She also has the cute sideways walk when she's trying to get around things or had her Halloween costume on last weekend.  She was a cute little cow with udders.   She did not like the extra tail at all. Her hoping and sideways walking can always make my day brighter no matter what.

                           

The last thing that can always make my day better is when my preteen and teen age kids come up to me out of the blue and tell me unprovoked I might add, that they love me. There is no better feeling in the world for a mom to hear these 3 words from their kids, no matter what age they are.  They are like an invisible hug. No better feeling than that.

So think about all the funny or loving things that make our days as each of us has a few.  Enjoy them no matter how quirky, odd, normal, comforting they are to you or anyone else. They can be an everyday thing or something out of the blue like a complement or an email.  We all need a thing that can make us smile daily or even bring us laughter. I truly believe that laughter in life is the best medicine.

❤️️️️️NYTS